WEIGHT OF AIR
2009 | RED SCARE

SPOTIFY | ► APPLE MUSIC | ► BANDCAMP

LET IT BREATHE

Dry Land
Dry Land
Plucked from the Ocean
Mighty Sea
Plucked from the Ocean
Let it Breathe

 

LOOKING

Closing my eyes, and I see you smiling
I’m enthralled by the looks that you give
Closing my eyes, when I open them; panic
These thoughts could never happen again
**
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love where it can’t be found

There are sometimes I see new things as alright
Convenience creates a conterfiet wall
But the one I think of
when I lay in bed at night
is miles away
You aren’t what I want at all.
**
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love where it can’t be found

Days get hard to get through
I’ve got five senses
they’re all sending signals to miss you.
Maybe someday soon
streets might be repaved anew
over holes I’ve been falling into.

Thursday morning
I was out walking
Trying to shield the wind with my coat,
stumbled upon  your photo in my pocket.
Pictures leave me with lumps in my throat.


PLANS

Cover
Our bodies need covering
There’s actions we acted on
before our thoughts had enough time
Ponder
Questions that keep hovering
Your light-hearted visits
Seem to weigh heavy on my mind
**
But don’t look back on me
Though being ahead brings pity
I know you’re a lot less guilty than you seem
But rest assured
The ground on which you stand will be shaken
Plans are always perfect when you make them

Lights off
We swim in the ocean
We’re floating west,
I’m not sure if those were the intentions
Somewhere, someone swears,
“These numbers will win!”
Then curses and swears when the numbers roll in
**
But don’t look back on me
Though being ahead brings pity
I know you’re a lot less guilty than you seem
But rest assured
The ground on which you stand will be shaken
Plans are always perfect when you make them

If every child became their dreams
And lovers remained married
And every flower bloomed perfectly
And you never grew away from me
Wouldn’t that make it easy

Wouldn’t the stars align so clearly
If we could control the objects that we see
Wouldn’t our stories have joyful endings
If what we hoped for
was what we were controlling

 

A HEALTHY TIME

I’m sorry for you
If you had to go through even half of this
My head is a corkscrew
Maybe I’m too easily affected
**
It takes a healthy time
To redesign our lives
It takes a healthy time
To redesign our lives
It takes a healthy time to forget
When there’s traces of past
That constantly remind

It takes a long time
To wake up in a new place
And refocus our eyes
Reality relies on our own outlooks
to construct its own design
**
It takes a healthy time
To redesign our lives
It takes a healthy time
To redesign our lives
It takes a healthy time to forget
When there’s traces of past
That constantly remind

So you take what you own
Sell it off, stand alone
But you can’t just dispose
Of what you’ve loved and you’ve known
So the past luminates
Covering only fades
Like the clouds to the moon
Light will keep shining through

I’m sorry for you.

 

LIKE THE TIDES

Reluctance setting in
Should I listen to my friends and
The things they recommend
It’s a dangerous tide to swim, but
If its water that I want, then I’m diving in
**
I go in hopefilled
And you’ve still got that smile
And I have missed that look for quite a while
So feelings fill me
And I’m anxious again
This time let’s stay in.

Trying hard not to think
Because its seems the more I think,
The worse decisions I make.
So I’ll just try and move like the tides.
Because the tides are reliable,
And much more constant than you and I.
**
I go in hopefilled
And you’ve still got that smile
And I have missed that look for quite a while
So feelings fill me
And I’m anxious again
This time let’s stay in.

Fill my heart with all this hope
When I know I’ll just end up aching again
So make my heart a heavy stone
So I don’t feel pain again.

I’ll lie down my life on the table here
When I know it’ll probably cave in.
But I’m willing to try, so if you’re able
Then, can we please just stay in.
Let’s stay in.
Let’s stay in.

 

SMALL

It’s not that I can’t be the weight
in my own shoes
It’s just that I can’t find a place I can go to
where  I am not a number,
or just a lear in the fall.
Oh, but I am not a color at all.
**
You make me feel so small.
I feel like you’re floating above me
and I’m beneath it all.
I feel like I shouldn’t move.
Because none of my steps and directions
could ever get to you.

New words define new abstractions in dreams.
But lately, vocal is what I haven’t been.
And I am not a number, just a leaf in the fall,
but I am not a color at all.

You make me feel so small.
I feel like you’re floating above me
and I’m beneath it all.
I feel like I shouldn’t move.
Because none of my steps and directions
could ever get to you.

 

DAY-STARING

As I’m day staring my way through life
I ask my auto-pilot, step aside.
Like trying to coax a cloud down from the sky,
Come down here, make me alive.

Because a split second of a moment that halts time
Can be worth a whole lifetime of waiting.
For something more than that same
mundane life narrative
Transcend this, Please.

It’s in a place where hearts collide,
and the love is overwhelming
In a place where a breathe of
fresh air still refreshes my insides

Feel like I am more than
The things that I occupy myself with
I am spending days staring,
Waiting for lightning strike.

When your hand holds my hand,
Let your warmth still fill me
Let your eyes and beautiful sights
Still inspire and thrill me

And if ever I drown in stress
And it seems I’ve begun to forget
Remind me of
the bright sky and the moment we first met.

When I felt like I am
More than the things I occupy myself with.
I am spending days staring,
Waiting for lightning strike.

I’ve finally found something
that is worth holding onto
Scratching and clawing
so I don’t lose my grip on you
But why
Why are my arms so tired?
Is it from holding on for dear life?
I shouldn’t be waisting time
Waiting for the pulse of something at all
Waiting for the pulse of something at all

 

STATIC MOUTH

Moments you think that you know things
Are usually followed by moments
that prove you were wrong.
Like earlier I witnessed it snowing,
only to come back out to find just water
soaking in the ground.
**
Move over, head that tops off my body
Move closer, hips that brush on my side
Move over, phrases that used to bring legs down
Swinging arms, Static mouth

Times I finally let my legs start running,
it seems the people around me
start dropping like flies
And there wasn’t any signs of them slowing,
its just that breathing gets harder
with passage of time.
**
Move over, head that tops off my body
Move closer, hips that brush on my side
Move over, phrases that used to bring legs down
Swinging arms, Static mouth

The daisies below are changing to stones.
Their petals have flown
Further westward to decompose
or so goes the cycle.

Move over, Move closer, Move over, Move closer
To me.

 

ALMOST THE SAME

We could always take the day
and talk of how we’re going separate ways,
of how our words are weak,
how they crumble eventually.
But for now you can lay next to me,
its cold and bodies emit heat,
our hearts no longer in sync,
But we can trick them to be
**
We warmed up to old to old ways
Again in the same place
Couldn’t complain, to me it was
Almost the same.

We could always live our lives,
Just talking how love is a lie, 
A fountain kept outside,
if you don’t give it water it runs dry.
But for now lets not live bitterly.
We both enjoy company.
I’m old enough to see
that we can be young for a few weeks.
**

We warmed up to old to old ways
Again in the same place
Couldn’t complain, to me it was
Almost the same.

Enamored by nostalgic eyes.
Enamored by the way we lie.
Enamored doesn’t change the fact:
You’re going back.
For not let’s forget that.

 

SHADING

We get fogged up and tied-down
to what we used to be.
Truthfully, I feel like my legs
haven’t seen work in a while,
because there’s only a short path back
from what I keep close, to what I’ve exiled.
**
Shading
You can’t learn from what you can’t see
You can’t grow without your leaves
Intake water but its worth
Nothing if you’re inside

So we lock in, cause habits addict
and cement in place, like running water
that eventually just drains back to the lake.
For Christ’s sake!
I’m getting half of what’s here to perceive.
Cause for every site I imagine
what it would be like if you were with me.
**
Shading
You can’t learn from what you can’t see
You can’t grow without your leaves
Intake water but its worth
Nothing if you’re inside

It’s hard to root my feet
Cause you affected me.

 

LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT

The shirt that you had gave me
Helped keep me warm in the cold
Practically wore it daily
Now its worn.
So I tried to try on others.
At least they give me cover,
but they don’t give me as much comfort
As yours.
But it’ll fit for now.
I can learn to live without.

When I used to hear the phone ring
My heart would jump and flutter
To turn and see the number was your’s.
But lately it’s been old friends,
Or mainly just the silence
Maybe our signals have forgotten
Where to go.
But there’s not a sound.
I can learn to live without.

Now out of tears, there is a sea
Made up of what we used to be.
But with new light,
The sea runs dry,
Evaporating into vapors in the sky.
Oh, they’re floating now,
Up with the clouds.
I can learn to live without.

 

WEIGHT OF AIR

I felt my hands shake when you drove off,
cotton smoke bellowing from the exhaust
breathing out a question:
“Were yesterday’s actions what was right?”
New daylight, last night’s moon still in sight.

And we are all struggling to not give in
to the very lies we get stuck in.
Like, “We won’t grown old” or “never wain in energy”
or “You can’t find love in things you’ve yet to see”

More and more I feel sore
From waking from a dream.
Where I realize I’m actually still lonely.
And I fall back to my weak stance,
thinking that I still need you here.
Fading, fading
A particle that’s barely there,

I become the weight of air.
I move with each word you exhale.
I become the weight of air.
I move with each word you exhale
Until nothing is there.